Thoughts of a panda..

Unlike some other people, I dream every night.... and 90% of the time I remember what i dreamed of... People may think that thats a "good" thing.. which at times is.. But sometimes dreams can mess you up. Last night I had a dream of her... We were in the village walking around. It was around 4pm that time, With her hand in mine we passed the court in my village as we walked by our village chapel."Mike, why don't you and I go to mass?" I felt pretty shocked when I heard that from her, since I'm usually the guy who tells her to go to mass at Sundays... "wow, really???" I smiled at her. "sure" she said. And we went in the chapel and took a seat. The priest was preaching about love for one another and talked about young couples who were falling in love. He even went to us and joined us in his preach as examples. Hearing what he said, I slowly took her hand and just held it for awhile, and gave out a relieving sigh as me and her smiled at each other. She then told me, "Mike I gotta go do something, I'll just be for awhile, Stay there. I just said ok and watched her walk away... I waited and waited until the mass was finally done and she was nowhere in sight. I saw myself in a huge mall full of people. One of my band mates texted asking me to join them to play, but I replied that I have to find her first to make sure she's okay. I went looking for her through the whole mall, and kept checking my cellphone if she replied. I started to panic, thinking she was lost or in danger, so I went running in search for her. I've realized that in my frantic run to find her, I've gotten my self lost in the mall. I was a huge floor all by myself. I can see battered stalls, Broken windows..... Broken chairs and tables all around me. As if the whole floor was abandoned.I finally gave up and just stood there. "Shes gone......."I wispered to myself and walked down the stairs. Then I felt a pat on my back. "Wake up Mike, its 6:21 already" It was my mom..... When my eyes finally opened, The only thing running through my mind was.... "Not again..."

It took me awhile to get up because I was trying to get my head straight... It felt so real that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I hate it when this happens... When dreams make you remember your past and kick you in the ass... My memories are the ones that kill me. I guess I just need better ones.

-MIKE